Your dog or your bicycle?

I had the strangest argument with a very good friend of mine the other night after she asserted that a mutual friend’s feelings for his bicycle were the same as my feelings for Alec. If I had just ignored that comment, the argument would never have ensued. But I was honestly shocked to hear this come out of her mouth. Even if she thinks my feelings about Alec are comparable to another friend’s feelings about an inanimate object, the fact that she would not think twice about voicing this opinion to me was definitely weird. Weirder still was the fact that she would not budge one inch from this assertion, even as she apologized for the fact that I took her comment “the wrong way.” As I repeatedly gave her the opportunity to explain what exactly I had gotten wrong or misinterpreted, she simply repeated the same thing using slightly different words. It was surreal.

Let me back up. This friend dearly loves both Ali and me. And we both love her. She is one of my best friends and I respect and admire her greatly. In fact, I had just flown her up from San Francisco so she could stay at my apartment and take care of Ali while I was in Boston last weekend for work. She is one of the few people with whom I fully trust post-injury Ali. The cost of her plane ticket and food for her stay was around $300, a sum I could have easily reached paying a random pet sitter stay at my house for three days, and Ali knows and loves her, so I was amazingly grateful she took those days off work and time out of her busy life to come to Portland to watch him. This is a good friend! And her love for Ali (and her own dog) is unquestionable. So why does she think Ali can be compared to my friend’s bicycle? I’m not sure. The argument was heated and we came to no resolution. She tenaciously defended her position. Now, the bicycle-loving friend in this scenario truly does love his bike. One could even argue it is the center of his life. He has no car and depends on his bike for work. Using a bike as his sole mode of transportation is also a political statement for him, and his bike certainly holds more meaning to him than it would for the average person. No question. One might even say his bike is his friend. And yet… does he really feel about his bike the way I feel about Ali? Is that even possible? A big point in her argument was that the friend in question is about to pay $50 to ship his bike to San Francisco for a 10-day trip rather than ride a borrowed bike. Okay, even if I did want to engage on the level of how “much money you spend on a person or object indicates your feelings for said person or object,” with my ongoing expenses for Ali and the cool 16k in vet bills he racked up in just two weeks last year…well, sadly, I probably do have him beat there too. No matter how important a material object like a bicycle or any other treasured possession is in someone’s life, no matter how much meaning that thing holds for them (and knowing several people who are crazy for their bikes, I understand the point), can this feeling ever truly compare to the emotional bond one feels with a sentient being? Obviously, I think not. The fact this good friend of mine and Ali’s, who is also a wonderful guardian to her own dog, disagreed enough to argue this point until neither of us had any breath left is indicative of just how far from the mainstream my views are regarding my relationship with my dog. (I use the possessive but not to objectify him – I am “his” as much as he is “mine,” in the best sense of those words). So for those of you who understand why I was shocked and offended by her comparing Ali to a bike in this manner, I want to thank you. You are my kindred spirits in a world where animals are not only defined within our antiquated legal system as mere property with no more worth than a chair (and in the case of a shelter dog, definitely worth less than your expensive bicycle), but also are regrettably often conceptualized in similar terms even by those who love them.

Attack!

DRAMATIC REENACTMENT

I hate to write this because it was mildly traumatic, but if I could ever figure out how to get this blog to come up in search engines more than my handful of friends may come across it, which I would like because 1.) I’d love for people dealing with similar situations – i.e. a suddenly disabled dog – to read Alec’s story (from the beginning when things were so scary, to know things can get a lot better) and know there is hope, and 2.) I hope people who walk around with their dog off-leash may see this and possibly reconsider that choice!

First of all, Ali is fine (however, because I need to protect his back for the rest of his life, “fine” may not always be something I can see, if you know what I mean. Any damage done internally after a scuffle will not be immediately obvious). Here’s what happened: I took Ali outside for his morning pee in his Walkabout Harness. I had just woken up and had not even had coffee yet. We were in my front yard and had just descended the little hill onto the sidewalk in front of my apartment and got ready to turn the corner (where there is more grass) when I saw a woman walking with a black lab mix who was off-leash. Now, in the past I admit I have had a tendency to almost panic in these situations (but who could fault me for being a little overprotective of Ali after his multiple surgeries? Still, I know it’s time to stop “babying” him and let go of some of that fear) but recently I have been practicing projecting a calm, assertive energy while on walks and in public, which has actually been very effective, thank you Cesar Milan, aka Dog Whisperer. The thing is, this all happened REALLY fast. So the dog sees us, he was only a few car lengths away, pretty close, and immediately bolts toward us. I tried to be calm “Call your dog.” …but the dog keeps coming… “Call your dog!” …and not looking friendly at all…”CALL YOUR DOG!” and then the dog was upon us growling and snarling and trying to get at Ali (who at this point in growling and trying to lunge as well – who can blame him?!) and that’s when my calm assertive energy went out the window.

I tried really hard to put myself between Ali and the lunging dog, but if you can picture the Walkabout harness (it is like a pair of pants over his hind legs with handles on top so I can support his back end), I am holding Ali’s hindquarters up by the handles of the harness so am in a very bad position to defend him. My hands are basically tied – one on his leash, the other on his rear harness, all the while trying to keep the other dog away while making sure Ali stays on his feet. God, it was awful! And the dog was not friendly at all; as soon as he reached us he bared his teeth and started snarling and snapping, trying to bite Ali from different angles, lunging like a snake, as I pivoted to keep myself between them. It all happened so fast but it seemed like an eternity before the owner finally got there and pulled the dog off. What was she doing this whole time? Yelling, “Bear! Bear!” to absolutely no avail. The dog did not even glance toward her one time after he saw us and bolted. I have gone over it in my mind and am still not sure how I should have reacted. This type of thing has happened before (although this was one of the top scariest “incidents” because he was in his harness and way more vulnerable than when he is in the cart…and even in his cart he is pretty dang vulnerable considering how easily it can tip over), so I now carry pepper spray when we walk. However, there was no time for the pepper spray, if I even had it on me (I think I actually had left it inside because we were just going out in the yard). Again, we were right in front of my apartment, not even on a walk. So I used my voice to try to scare the dog off, but he did not even hear me. Once they get into that frenzied state, it is pretty much too late. If this were a normal situation, i.e. one where my hands were free and Ali was not wearing a harness, I would have made sure to get between the dogs and I really think this would have been possible because Ali has actually gotten a lot better about this since I have been working with him on our walks to ignore other dogs. The complicating factor was the harness. I feared if I dropped it, Ali would fall over. He is doing great but in a situation like a dog fight, his body is going to contort in ways in should not. So I was not letting go! But that left me with no hands and no leverage. So, the whole thing was basically scary and sucked and then I had to worry that my position as pack leader in Ali’s eyes would be compromised, meaning he will want to take similar situations into his own paws again, and I would not blame him, because dog psychology says your pack leader should defend you and if not, well then you need to step up and take the job. The dog psychology stuff is another discussion, and Ali was not actually bitten by this dog (thank goodness!!), and as Cesar says (I have become quite the Dog Whisperer devotee of late; I think he is awesome), you can’t live in the past but must keep moving forward so I was very conscious not to take that fear with me on out next walk and future outings in our front yard…because Ali will feel my nervous energy, which will only feed his defensiveness around other dogs. So it goes.

The denouement: the woman finally got “Bear” back on his leash and apologized saying “he has never done anything like that before.” – and P.S. this is exactly why you should never have your dog off-leash unless you are in a designated off-leash area (most cities have plenty of these off-leash parks, and that is the place for your experiment, not my street!), because the truth is you simply don’t know how your dog is going to react in all situations – I have seen it over and over and over – unless your dog is under your complete control in public. I have noticed most people erroneously think their dog is under control, until their dog sees something more attractive than staying by their side and bolts away from them, sometimes into the street. It only takes one “mistake” for a dog to get hit by a car and killed. I have seen that happen too. Regarding people misjudging their dog’s temperament, I saw this time and again when I took Ali in his cart to the park in Petaluma. People said their dogs were friendly (which they probably were in most situations) so I let them approach, then they saw Ali’s wheels and tried to attack him because they had a reaction (which of course their owners could not predict) to the strange object – his wheels. Enough times of this and I bought pepper spray and began avoiding other dogs in earnest.

So here is my plea to people who like to stroll around town with their dog off-leash:

Please, please, please obey the laws of common sense and keep your dog on a leash when walking in a public space. There are too many factors at play. Here are four:

1.) Your dog may not be as friendly as you think. Ali and I have gotten run up on by clearly aggressive dogs so many times while their lackadaisical owner yells inconsequentially in the background, “He’s friendly! He’s friendly!” Newsflash: No, he’s not!

2.) Even if s/he is friendly, charging up to another dog (especially one who is on leash) is considered extremely rude in the dog world and will be taken as a challenge by all but the most submissive dogs. In other words, your “friendly” dog can easily trigger a fight with his/her incorrectly socialized behavior. I would be highly alarmed if a stranger of the human kind– no matter how “friendly” they may be – started running toward me while I was walking down the street and then proceeded to grossly invade my personal space. Your strange dog running up to us is no less alarming.

3.) Okay, let’s assume your dog is the friendliest, most mellow fellow in all situations, no exceptions. It actually doesn’t matter because my dog may not be! And that’s okay. Most modern domesticated dogs have one or several behavioral issues, either from irresponsible breeding, an unbalanced upbringing, ongoing unintentional reinforcement of unwanted behaviors by well-meaning but imperfect owners, a history of abuse and/or neglect…and the list goes on and on. There are many reasons why dogs living in human society are often unbalanced. This goes especially for those of us who adopt and rescue dogs with unknown histories, or known troubled histories. But those dogs deserve a chance too, and they have every right to be out enjoying a walk IF – and this is a big, important “if” - their guardian has them under control. Everyone has the right to be out in public without being accosted by a loose dog.

4.) Finally – and to me most importantly – my dog may be recovering from a back injury. Let’s forget for the moment the fact that our dogs may get into a scuffle. Ali is not even allowed to play with other dogs now; it is one of the most risky activities for his back especially since he tends to play rambunctiously. There is no way I can explain this to you in the three seconds it takes your dog to run up to us so please, please please… keep your dog on a leash? Thank you!

SNOW- continued!

Pdx snowstorm 08 - a dog's eye view

Cart tracks in the snow.

I was told repeatedly upon moving here that it never (or extremely rarely) snows in Portland. So when weather reports started calling for possible snow this weekend, the natives scoffed. Sure, it snows in the hills and higher elevations, but not in the city, they said. So as I was lying in bed this morning listening to NPR, I was surprised to hear the announcer say that chains were now required on I-5 in the Portland metro area and that sections of local highways were closed. What?! Could it be…? Sure enough, I got out of bed and opened the curtain to see a blanket of white outside; and it was still snowing! Of course, I put Ali in his cart right away (even before coffee!) and out we went. Ali must have seen snow in N.J. during the first two years of his life, although I’m not sure how much. When he was living in the kennels at The Seeing Eye (where I worked for a year, and where I met Alec), he only went outside for a half hour during those days when he was scheduled to go into town for training. That whole year was mostly indoors for him (except when I would come on the weekends with my trainer friend and take him out for surreptitious walks around the sprawling grounds – shhhh. It was so rewarding to see him get to go outside. He was often anxious and frantic in his kennel and never had a chance to be a "dog." It broke my heart every day to see him so frustrated). And his first year of life was spent in the home of a “puppy raiser” 4-H family who apparently neglected him to the point where they were removed from the program (they pretty much kept him in his crate or tied up outside alone for long periods of time – a puppy!). So I’m not sure how many times he experienced snow in N.J. by the time he came to live with me, I was living in Georgia. We had snow once in Athens, but it was the kind of snow where the blades of grass were still visible. Today, it's real!

So I got him “saddled up,” and when I threw open our front door the expression on his face was comically quizzical. He hesitated; what’s this stuff here? Then out we went, him squinting in the snow, not quite knowing what to make of it. At first I think he wanted to go back inside. (He is not a big fan of the rain, so I think in his mind snow might be of the same ilk: stuff falling from the sky? On me? Not cool! It was also quite windy and cold – 24 degrees! I know that’s not cold for other regions of the country, but it sure is here. I’m new here and all, but I have done my research and the annual average low temperature is about 40 degrees.). But then he relaxed, probably in part because my energy was pretty happy/excited. We walked around the neighborhood and at one point I let him off his leash in a parking lot so I could capture the moment on video (from what I understand, this "snow in Portland" thing is rare, indeed!) and he started frolicking like a silly puppy. He did great in the cart, and its wheels were packed with snow when we got back home. Now he is snoozing like the angel he is after our small and unexpected adventure.

In general, Ali is doing really well, getting around better and better outside his cart, and continuing to improve. More updates soon…we have to go out and play some more in the wintry wonderland! The sight of his little tire tracks in the fresh snow makes my heart feel warm.

Portland, so far...

This is our first update from our new city! We have been in Portland now almost two months and much of this initial period has been dedicated (both in terms of time and mental/emotional energy) to getting us settled into our new home and establishing new routines; besides the fact that we moved to a place where I barely know anyone (change enough!) there have been many additional changes for Ali. (True to form this blog post is going to be about Ali, but just in case you are wondering: I love Portland so far and am very happy here. I think it was a good move for both Ali and me.)

There was definitely an adjustment period for Ali after the move, but he is now settled in and doing quite well in his new surroundings. We are plugging along with the physical therapy, and I thank my lucky stars every single day for Ali’s continued progress, good health, and his amazing joie de vivre…and of course, his companionship. If you are new to this blog, you may want to check out the first post. Alec has come so far since those early days and weeks after surgery that it is easy to forget how amazing, how vast, his improvements have been. In eight months he has gone from being completely paraplegic and unable to urinate on his own to, well – how he is today!

He is getting around quite well by himself in the apartment and at the office, “walking” with an abnormal gait where he often drags (or “knuckles”) his back right foot, but walking nonetheless. This “walk” is not quite ready for prime time and he still uses his doggie wheelchair and the walk-about harness when we go outside. Because of the knuckling, I have to be very careful about him injuring his back right foot, which he has done several times, from scrapes to ripped toe nails (our use of “soft claws” nail caps have helped solve the latter problem). But I am encouraging him to practice walking, and my main challenge is to maintain balance between letting him practice bopping around (especially in the office, where he has a lot more room to explore than in our little apartment) and making sure he does not overdo it. Compared to the challenge of expressing his bladder all by myself, which I did for the first several unforgettable weeks after surgery, this doesn’t even qualify as a challenge! At the recommendation of his new rehab place, we are also using a sciatica wrap on his right leg for a few hours every day, which helps him to take steps and not knuckle (this is basically a wrap that goes under his foot and up around his ankle and helps keep his toes up when he walks).

As I mentioned, there have been plenty of changes for Ali above and beyond what a “normal” dog would face upon moving to a new place. Ali has moved many times thanks to me, and he typically handles it very well. But compared to previous moves, this one involved more adjustments. First, there was the matter of finding a new rehab facility where Ali could continue his underwater treadmill therapy. We started going to a veterinary rehab facility here called Back on Track, about which I have mixed feelings, but I am trying to keep an open mind. After a few initial setbacks on the treadmill, which could have been due to the fact that there was about 3-4 weeks between sessions during the move, Ali seems to be back to where he was before we left California. We are continuing to do the treadmill sessions once a week. We were lucky enough to be getting a break at our last rehab place, which is not the case here, and the weekly sessions cost more than twice as much ($55 vs. $25). There is one doctor and the rest are vet techs (or possibly training to be vet techs; there are so many I’m not sure) and they don’t even have the same person in the water with Ali each week, so it is much different from California where we primarily worked with Juli. But my main concern– and everyone I talk to thinks this is weird – is that they have loose dogs running around the facility, usually several. They have to whisk them away into side rooms when Ali comes down the hall (because he’s a bad shepherd!), but whoever heard of a rehab place with loose dogs running hither and thither? They also have two treadmills in the room, which means there is usually another dog on the other treadmill at the same time Ali is in there, so of course that is distracting. However, I think the treadmill is important for him and we are making it work so far. He is doing quite well with the chaotic situation, all things considered. There is only one other rehab place in town and I may give them a try at some point too.

My second goal was to find a safe accessible place where I could continue to take Ali swimming on a regular basis, an activity that in my opinion has been invaluable for him both physically and psychologically. I spent a lot of time during our first few weekends driving around to scout out possible swimming locations, after quizzing many random Portlanders and searching online to get ideas. After a few initial trips to less than ideal spots, I believe I have found our regular spot! George Rogers Park, recommended by my colleague Stephan, is in the town of Lake Oswego, a 20-min. drive south of Portland. This park is right on the Willamette River and is completely accessible. There is a steep staircase leading from the parking lot down to the river, which almost made me turn away before I noticed the long handicapped ramp, with about seven switchbacks, snaking back and forth, bisecting the steps leading to the beach. Unbelievable! I was so happy when I saw that on my reconnaissance mission, because it has been hard to find places on the river that Ali can actually get to using his wheelchair. The beach itself is flat and sandy and the water is calm. There are usually other people and some dogs there but not too many and we have not had any problems yet (knock on wood!). The park also has trails that I think a lot of people take their dogs running and hiking on. Since it is the cold rainy season, fewer people are down by the water, which is good for us. This morning was our fifth trip there. As I have written here before, I never took Ali swimming without a “buddy” in California, just because there are too many things that can go wrong. However, because here I lack the social network I had in Calif., I have no choice; it’s either brave it alone or he doesn’t swim. The latter simply not being an option, I now take him alone and am nervous every second doing it, but just hope for the best! I also have some pepper spray in case of errant dogs or people. I am never happier than after a successful swimming outing. Ali just has so much fun, and he can really let loose in the water and chase the ball at top speeds, which he obviously can no longer do on land. It is very satisfying for me to see him having fun in this way, getting to engage in one of his former favorite pastimes: fetch!

The third big adjustment was our new office and the surrounding downtown environment, which is different in many ways from ALDF headquarters in California where we spent the last three years. I will write more about that soon, but today is Thanksgiving and it's time to start preparing the vegan feast: Tofurkey roast, cranberry sauce, stuffins, sauteed rainbow chard, garlic smashed potaters, lots and lots of gravy, and something special for Ali too! But first I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has left nice comments for Ali and me on this blog. I am incredibly grateful for your support and encouragement, and I have appreciated your kind words. I am thankful for so much, but most of all I am thankful to be spending Thanksgiving with my best friend, and thankful for every single second we have spent together since that happiest day when he came to live with me five years ago. Happy Thanksgiving!

Good-bye California…Hello Oregon!

Wickersham Park in Petaluma, where we spent so much time over the last 6 months...farewell!

The Relo-Cube... which is hopefully right now en route to Portland with all my belongings!




Ali and I are leaving California and moving to Portland... tomorrow! I have been too busy preparing for this big move to write anything about it, and I will keep it brief. Suffice it to say that after living in Petaluma for six months I am very happy we are moving on. There are many reasons why Sonoma County has not been working. And although I loved San Francisco (except for the commute!), moving back there is just not an option anymore because 1.) Every dang place has stairs and 2.) Rents are way too high for me to live alone, and with Ali's condition I am just not prepared to risk another Craigslist experiment and move in with total strangers. Luckily for me, ALDF has a secondary location in downtown Portland and I have been granted permission to transfer to this smaller office. Although I am daunted by the thought of starting all over again with Ali in a new city – not to mention one where it never stops raining! – there are many reasons why I feel this move will be a good one for us. I recently found the perfect apartment, too, which seemed like an auspicious sign. It's an affordable one bedroom, totally on the ground floor (no more steep ramp for Ali to negotiate), carpeted (so Ali won't slip), and in a nice neighborhood within walking distance to lots of great stuff, including a park. We are leaving tomorrow morning; the drive is about 9 hours. Big moves are always difficult, especially when doing it alone, but luckily I have amazing friends to help.

Most importantly, the improvements Ali has made over this last week are nothing short of amazing. His right leg is taking full steps in the cart now. I was able to get an appointment for Ali to be seen one last time by Jackie, the rehab specialist at UC-Davis, before we moved. I was hoping she could suggest some new rehab techniques for me to try now that he is starting to take steps. She basically said to keep doing what we are doing and to continue underwater treadmill sessions if possible in Portland. More soon…I have to finish packing the van. Wish us luck on our new adventure!

Hope.

Swimming at the Russian River on Labor Day went really well. Ali had a blast, as usual. Thank goodness he loves tennis balls so much - the compulsion to retrieve them keeps him excited to swim and swim! I believe I mentioned the amazing physical benefits of swimming for a dog in Ali’s condition, but the psychological benefits are also immeasurable. A few days later we had an appointment with the underwater treadmill and Ali took a few steps in a row (unassisted) with his right foot! Remember last time I mentioned he placed his right foot just once and Juli said that was a “milestone?” Well, that was one week earlier. This time he took three consecutive steps in a row several times during the session. Progress! After I was able to take him swimming three times over Labor Day weekend, I had a feeling I saw some improvement. Juli confirmed it when she saw him on the treadmill. It could just be the normal course of his recovery, but I have a feeling the swimming could be accelerating things. It’s certainly not hurting! Same thing with acupuncture and everything else we are doing. I want to give him every chance. He continues to amaze me.

Yesterday, Ali took steps with his right leg in the cart for the first time without knuckling. He did it a few times at the park by Kevin’s house. I couldn’t believe it! We had taken him swimming the previous evening in the American River. Then last night, after we drove home from Sacramento, we met friends at the Russian River for another swim session. After swimming, while Ali was standing up on the blanket, he took 2-3 steps independently with his right foot! Everyone saw it. We all whooped! It’s amazing. First a couple steps in the cart and then while standing on his own…all of this happened in one day. His right leg is waking up! I really think he is going to walk again. I have never said that out loud before, but I said it this morning when I saw him take a few more baby steps on his own, while placing his right foot. I have always been afraid to say anything like that because on some level I must admit I am superstitious about doing or saying anything to "jinx" it...whatever the hell that means. It doesn't make sense, but that doesn't stop these irrational beliefs from taking root in my psyche. But you know what? It felt good to say it. It has been exactly seven months since his surgery. I remember because it was the day before Valentine's Day.

Underwater Treadmill Redux.

Ready to go!

Note the rubber ducky in the corner. It squeaks; Ali likes!

Those who have been following along will remember that after Ali’s first successful session in the underwater treadmill a few months ago, he balked the second time and refused to walk, so we decided to give it a rest for awhile. In the mean time we continued with swimming therapy in the river and our standing exercises at home. Well, as I mentioned in my last post, we decided to try the underwater treadmill again and I am happy to report that Ali has decided he loves it now! Last week, he was so excited he tried to climb into the tank while still in his wheelchair, which is great. It’s cute how enthusiastic he is now about going to the Animal Care Center for these weekly appointments. I think we have done a good job of making it fun for him. And it doesn’t hurt that he has such a good attitude about everything! He is such a sweet, happy boy. People remark on it when they see us on the street or in the park. First they notice and ask about his wheelchair, then they say, “He looks so happy!” And he is. We both are. I’m happy because I know how lucky we are; he’s happy just because. And isn’t that one of the cool things about sharing your life with a nonhuman animal: this zen-like just because? Not to digress into turgid sentimentality, but sometimes when I look at this dog, as am doing now over my laptop screen, in addition to the usual feelings of fierce love and quiet admiration, every now and then my heart melts, turns to liquid, and I feel it rush to my feet. This isn’t as unpleasant as it sounds, but it can be an overwhelming feeling at times. It makes me feel helpless. What do you do with such a strong feeling? You recognize it and honor it as best you can with your actions, I guess. What else is there?

Alright, leaving crazy I-love-my-dog-so-much-it-makes-my-head-hurt land, during the last couple treadmill sessions, Juli has noticed some further improvement in his back right leg. Between two sessions she said his right leg had more movement than the week before, which is pretty exciting. The last two weeks he has been able to move his right leg on his own, whereas the week before she had to bend over the whole time and complete each step for him. He is still “knuckling” on his right foot when he steps, but last time he placed his foot once on his own, which Juli said is a milestone. She also said the muscles in his back legs were less tight and more supple this week, which is cool because during the last week I have been massaging his legs during standing exercises at home (per her recommendation to relieve some of the tightness), so it seems the massage is helping. After a week of not being able to swim (nobody to help), Ali has gone twice this weekend and we are going out to the Russian River again later today to meet Steve. So he has gotten some great exercise this long holiday weekend. I just hope the Labor Day revelers do not make the river too crowded today! It is always more difficult with lots of people and dogs around. Swimming Ali regularly is an ongoing challenge, but a necessary one to tackle because it is so incredibly therapeutic and the benefits for him are invaluable. Okay, now go forth and hug your companion animal and appreciate the unsettling yet not unpleasant feeling of your own heart melting.